You'll have to excuse me, I'm not at my best....

What do you get when you place a group of Emergency personel (nurses, paramedics & ancillary staff) in close proximity to large quantities of alcohol and loud music with a beat after a really busy stretch at work and lots and lots of rain?

That's right - a high school dance on steroids. A bunch of giggly, flirty girls and a competing bunch of horny, testosterone filled, strutting boys. A group that have been working hard and now are ready to party hard.

Boys: Just in case you don't remember the answers to those 'important' conversation starting questions you asked me last night:

• No, thanks. I'm happy to chat with you but I'm not going to go home with you. Nope. Not now. Nope. Not later either.
  
• No, I'm not a lesbian. These girls are my friends and co-workers, not my lovers. Really.
  
• Yes, I'm married. Yes, happily. Yes. Really.
• No, I'm not giving off 'unhappily married and looking for a great new guy' vibes. {Well, perhaps in your dreams, but since they started with you thinking/hoping I was a lesbian, then it is pretty clear that you don't have the best vibe reading skills. Especially since you can't even find my face because your eyes haven't left my chest in 6 minutes.}
  
• No, thanks. I don't want to dance. Really. {Actually I'm not on the dance floor because everyone else out there is dirty dancing. I don't dirty dance. I look like a duck having a seizure. So do you, but you don't seem to care, so feel free to go dance without me.}
  
• Yes, I really am 10 years older than you. Yes, really. {Nice try. I know I don't look like a teenager. I have a mirror, and no illusions about how old I look.}
  
• Yes, I can tell how drunk you are.
  

Girls: I'd also remind you of a couple things, since you also are likely not to remember.:

• Yes, your hair is flat, and you still look great, so stop stressing!
  
• No, I'm really not going to drink that shooter. No, it doesn't matter how often you chant my name or call me party pooper. Yes it is fine with me if you have the shooter.
• Yes I'm enjoying myself. No, I'm not drunk, but that doesn't change my last answer. Yes, it is fine with me if you want to get drunk.
• Yes, you really look hot, but it would be a bit more appropriate if your top wasn't completely falling open like that.
  
• Yes your husband would be a little upset if he saw how actively you were bumping and grinding with that paramedic.
• Yes, I really am heading home. Clearly I'm way too old to be here. Besides, it's 1:30 am and I have to be to work at 7 am. No, I don't mind if you stay. Really. Have fun and play safe!
  

Now, before you get the wrong idea, I want to point out that the evening was actually quite fun. We had a nice group of people. There were only a couple who really went over the top and the silly stuff was only a small part of the whole picture. None-the-less I was really surprised at how the people who I thought I knew showed themselves in an entirely different light once some alcohol was in the picture.

The evening also had another unexpected result. After watching a group of professionals overindulge despite their knowledge of the down side of excessive alcohol gives me a whole lot more empathy for those people who come to the department for stitches or whatever after a night on the town.